I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
