Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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