When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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