You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
