That's intense
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
