Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
