I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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