East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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