I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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