Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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