Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
