If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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