Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
the raccoons are back...
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