guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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