is this the sara with the beer cane?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
