Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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