rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize