I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
