Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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