where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
