I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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