I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
