OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
