How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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