This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we have pet lesbian snakes
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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