Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
