and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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