I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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