did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize