i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize