I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
