She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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