And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I bet he comes in French.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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