I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
