I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
