the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
