is your mom at the bar?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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