I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
