And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
3pm strippers are depressing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
