Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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