I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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