I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
