I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
