it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
