First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize