i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
