fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
