turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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