would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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