haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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