So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
