No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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