If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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