Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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