i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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