i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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