All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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