there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
