Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize