I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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