she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
